Have you ever wanted to talk to that girl or guy, but hesitated because you didn’t know what to say? Or maybe you’ve been at a party and just dreaded the idea of going up to someone and introducing yourself?

Let me tell you why I ask. I was just browsing the Internet marketplace, and I came across an interesting ebook called “How To Make Great Conversation and Small Talk” by Sean McPheat. And since I needed brushing up in this area, I decided to buy it. Sure, there’s tons of free advice out there, but I tend to find that by investing in something, I give it more commitment. (In other words, by paying for the information, I’ll actually read it and apply it!)

Well, it turns out to be pretty good, so I thought I’d share a few tips with you from it. Let’s face it, starting and maintaining conversations is a bit of a dying art in this fast paced society we live in, and yet it’s a great skill, because it can open so many doors - maybe at that next office party you’ll find yourself convincing your boss into a pay raise, or dating that hot guy or girl from the accounts department - who knows, eh?

So enough speculating and let’s get down to the tips. In Part 1 I’ll talk about how to start a conversation, and in Part 2 I’ll discuss how to carry it on - partly so this article doesn’t get too long, and partly so you’ll subscribe so you don’t miss out! (Missing out is a horrible feeling, isn’t it?)

OK, here goes…

(1) Be An Expert Listener

Sean says something that is absolutely invaluable information and worth committing to memory:

“The best conversationalists in this world are the best listeners NOT the best talkers.”

Many people are so busy thinking up what to say next that they aren’t really listening. So ask questions, and then listen - properly.

(2) Look For, And Use Commonalities

Let’s say you’re at a party. Ask yourself, what common themes does everyone have in common within the room? They’ve all been invited to the party, they all probably know the host, and they may be eating the same food and drink.

If the hosts are Jean and John, a simple starter might be: “Hi, my name is Paul. Good party, isn’t it? How do you know Jean and John?”

This may not be a scintillating pieces of conversation, but it’s not meant to be. It’s a starter - to get you started - which is the most important part!

(3) Talk About One Of The 5 Topics Of Conversation That People Like To Talk About

To engage people and get them wanting to talk, talk about their favourite 5 topics of conversation. In order of importance, they are…

1. THEMSELVES!

Your most favourite subject is inevitably YOU, and that is true for just about everybody else on the planet - the most important thing to them is themselves. So talk to them about their all-time favourite subject!

You: “So how do you know Jean and John?
Them: “I went to school with Jean.”
You: “Which school was that?”
Them: “Gosford Park.”
You: “Did you enjoy it there? What did you study?”

2. THEIR OWN OPINIONS

Everyone has opinions, and they love to talk about them. So ask for their opinions on something.

“So what did you think of the match last night?”
“So what do you think of this place?”
“What’s your opinion on XYZ?”

Just don’t get into an argument if your opinion differs!

We’ll look at the other 3 topics that people love to discuss tomorrrow, and we’ll talk about ways to continue that conversation without ever having to worry about that… uhh… embarassing pause.

So make sure you’re subscribed to this blog so you don’t miss it!

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